Maybe she’s born with it – but probably not…

“Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other.” – John F. Kennedy

I know you’re looking at this thinking, “Another discussion about whether a person is born with leadership skills or can they learn it? Hasn’t this been discussed enough? Why should I read this…again?” I would counter with yes, it has been argued to the point of exhaustion, however, with each experience we learn new ways of looking at situations and discover different ways to discuss them.

As said, this has been covered, and there are views on either side. However, when one peruses the literature on the topic, it is not difficult to see it leans one way. Most people interviewed on the subject assume that leaders are born. These people believe that some enter into the world possessing a natural ability to lead, and all others do not. Further, they think that there is not really much you can do for those who are not born with it.

Truth be told, most studies on the subject over the years show there really is more of a bell curve on leadership capability. Some people indeed are “born with it.” Others, on the other side of the curve, are just not going to lead the troops into battle. However, the majority of the people out there fall somewhere in the middle, and that’s where the potential lies.

There was one point in my career I lost nearly my entire management staff. We were going into a busy season, and I had to fill those positions quickly. Additionally, my part-time pool to pull from was made up of fresh faces who barely knew how to do the essential functions of the job. Having no other choice, I consulted with my assistant, and we made the hard decisions of whom we would bring onto the management staff.

We felt both of these ladies had the potential to work well as leaders within the business. One from experience in the educational system, and the other from her attitude and willingness to jump in where needed. What we found were two completely different views on what it meant to take on a leadership position.

The individual we had the most hopes for due to her background in education turned out to be the bigger surprise. While we had high expectations for her ability, we were mistaken. This person was a fantastic employee in a lesser role. She was great with customers, helped her younger co-workers, and worked hard on day-to-day tasks – all the reasons we promoted her. However, once put in a leadership role, all of that seemed to end.

She maintained a great relationship with the others, continued to help customers, but show little to no interest in advancing. Any occasion we used as an attempt to teach her thinks left us frustrated. As soon as we began teaching, she tried to cut us off, “Yep, uh-huh, got it,” whatever she could do to move on. It has taken her time to get past a lot of mistakes, but she has gotten to a point where she can function as a minimal manager.

This is in stark contrast to the other individual we promoted. She is a young woman with no managerial experience. We knew this going in, but we saw something in her we thought we could work with. While she struggled with the operational aspects more and had no understanding of how to lead the team, she was and continues to be, teachable. She asks questions, looks for advice, watches what her leaders do, and genuinely cares about those she has been entrusted to lead.

This individual possesses two of the many traits required in leadership learning – the ability to adapt, and the desire to grow and learn. While I cannot deny there are those who are born with skills relevant to leadership, I also believe much of what is needed to lead others can be learned. Even those born with these traits can benefit from being teachable. I know I have, and this is what makes her a benefit to the team.

When we begin our search for members of our leadership teams, we have to look past credentials. Of the two we promoted, one seemed much more apt to perform in the new position than the other. However, what we found was heart was worth much more than experience. When hiring or promoting, we have to remember that the best person for the job is not necessarily the right person for the job. People, born leaders or not, will lead when they are empowered to do so. How they lead will be determined by how much time you invest in molding their leadership. This includes spending in their correction. We as leaders must have the managerial courage to mentor not only the ones with pedigree but those who maybe don’t even believe in themselves.


A True Story of Change

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I know you’ve seen posts all over social media about this #GivingTuesday thing. It’s overwhelming at times; I get it. However, it’s so important. I don’t usually share the darker sides of what we do in a public forum. However, I wanted to give you just one of the stories of why this is so meaningful to us and show you a real kid whose life was changed powerfully through donations that were given to UnFinished International on a #GivingTuesday.

I’ve left her name out and any details that could narrow her down from pictures we post. But this is the story of a child in our program. A real little girl your giving has pulled out of the darkness and into the light of Jesus.

We have a girl in our program who was identified as a special child when she was three years old. Her nursery teacher recognized she was not able to read and write and found she was a very slow learner. Therefore, the teacher referred her to a special school in their area

However, the child’s parents were illiterate and steeped in poverty. As such, they were unable to transfer her to the special school. Financially, they could not pay the school fees, and they didn’t understand the reasoning in moving her from public school. They decided instead to keep her at home to help them with housework and chores. The little girl’s days went from school work to collecting firewood, digging, getting water from the general spring, and cleaning.

One day she had gone to fetch water from the spring. On her way back home, she was raped by an old man in the neighborhood. She became ashamed and lost hope since no action was taken by the parents. She was not taken to the hospital, nor was the incident reported to the police. The man started threatening her, and she began a life living in fear. She withdrew inside herself and did not speak or associate with other children.

However, one day, God brought you into her life. Through your giving to UnFinished, she was placed into a boarding school for special children, which moved her more permanently from the area, her attacker, and the constant reminders. Her new teachers report she is now a happy and smart girl in school. She is receiving treatment for both her physical disabilities and psychological trauma, and she is doing exceptionally well with her education. She also now communicates well with other students and teacher not like before. She is hardworking and promising and learning to be happy again.

This story is just one of many. For instance, we have two children who were born with HIV on top of disabilities. Because of your giving, they are not only in school; they get regular treatments for their HIV because they now have medical insurance. Your giving has literally saved their lives. What you do on Tuesday actually saves the lives of real kids. There are so many more stories I would love to tell you should you ever want to sit down and hear them.

Thank you for all you have done in the past. I look forward to seeing what God does through you on Tuesday.

May God bless all you do.

“Change the World?”

we-gather-in-small-groupsNowadays, we see the term, “Change the World,” often. While most using it probably have good intentions, the frequency of its use has perhaps weakened its practical application on the broader population’s mindset at this point. I believe most people wearing it on their hoodies, t-shirts, or ball caps genuinely want to be a world-changing force in some way, I also think the general public no longer sees the term as meaningful.

Are Christine and I trying to change the world? I suppose we are. Both of us are visionaries, entrepreneurs, Type-A, nose-to-the-grindstone, types of people with a heart for others. We dream of UnFinished reaching all 192 countries of the world. We aspire to change international legislation and make the world a better place for those with special needs and disabilities. I tell Christine all the time I see the day she is standing before the United Nations, delivering a speech on the need for change in the world of disability.

So “Change the World” is indeed a thing for us. However, it’s not the main thing. At least not right now. Right now, we are more, “Change the Life.” We have children in our program who live with special needs, disabilities, orphan status, stigma, HIV, and poverty. All of our kids experience at least one, if not all of those things. Yes, we have a six-year-old child who is being raised by a grandmother because the parent’s left, is special needs, has a disability, lives in poverty, and has HIV. He is six-years-old.

We are blessed to have people around us who care very little if the world is changed. Yes, I said blessed for that. It is a blessing because they are not worried about what the society as a whole thinks, as Christine and I do most of the time. They are concerned about that little boy. They are worried about the two little girls in our program with mental impairments who go home to sexual abuse during school break that we can do nothing for at this time due to legal entanglements. Our business manager, who is required to worry about nothing except money and numbers, cries and prays daily over these kids. Changing their lives is much more important to her than changing the world right now.

I believe you change the world one life at a time. We started out with two kids. As God has seen our dedication, our hearts, and our stewardship of all He brings our way, He has grown us to fourteen enrolled and several on waiting lists. If the right resources were available, those numbers could be in the hundreds just here in Kenya tomorrow. Through working with kids individually, we are also educating their guardians, their school teachers, their extended family. This is how you change the world – one life at a time.

Christine and I also heavily involve our three-year-old in our work. I struggle with trying to figure out how to raise him without letting him develop an entitled mindset as is rampant in my American culture. I need him to grow up around poverty, lack, need, disadvantage, and all the things that are prevalent in the world outside our upper-middle-class bubble. He is another one person that is part of the change the life mentality.

My point in all of this is that “changing the world” is not as complicated as people try to make it. Even Jesus did not work on a large scale. He used twelve people, and they are still changing the world to this day. If each one of us would get out and try to change a life, that is billions of people improving the lives of billions of people. That IS world changing. Get to know your neighbor. Do something nice for them. The world continues to become more divided and decisive each and every day. You don’t have to cross the ocean to be a world changer. Just change the world for someone across the street. Have your friend over for dinner. Say something beautiful to the person checking you out in your local retail store (God knows that would be life-changing for them).

Let’s resolve to change the world together.

Go West, Young Man

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11 of the 14 kids of UnFinished International

Kakamega is a town in Western Kenya that resides in Kakamega County. Before changes in the national government in 2012, Kakamega was part of the Western Province. Since the shift to a county-based administration, Kakamega has become a part of a network of larger towns within the western counties of Kenya.

We arrived in Kakamega Saturday afternoon after a flight with 540 Airlines from Nairobi to Kisumu. From Kisumu, a drive of about half an hour led us to our final destination. Kenya is currently undergoing a massive infrastructure improvement that has been underway for the past six years making travel over the road much quicker and safer.

Our first order of business was a visit to the Kakamega Teaching and Referral Hospital, known locally as Kakamega General Hospital. One of the children in the UnFinished International program had been admitted a week earlier. Tausi, the child, contracted malaria. Under normal circumstances, the school Tausi attends provides for the children when they contract malaria, which is often. However, Tausi’s case became so bad, she had to be admitted, consigned to oxygen, and placed under a doctor’s care.

In many countries, medical care must be paid for upon receipt. This is the case in Kenya. In fact, it is often worse. In some cases, fees must be paid before receiving care. While we were waiting to secure Tausi’s discharge, a child was screaming in the ward. In this hospital, there is no triage. All patients are lumped together in one room no matter why they are there. Whether a broken bone or a contagious disease, they are all treated in one room together.

As this child screamed, we heard the hospital staff explaining the situation to the parents. The parents were told the child had fallen and hit its head causing an open, bleeding wound and bleeding on the brain. However, the hospital would do nothing until the parents paid the bill. They advised the medical procedure would cost, 100,000 Kenya shillings – approximately $986.

The parents were beside themselves. The news would have been no different if the hospital told them to leave with their child and refused care. Their child was bleeding both on its brain and on the floor, and the hospital would do nothing until payment was made. Payment was not coming.

As we presented our documentation proving the payment made to cover Tausi’s medical expenses, we were told the doctor was out. The staff advised us they would not release her until the doctor signed off and he was gone until later in the day. We left the paperwork with the front desk with the understanding Tausi would be released as soon as the doctor returned.

The situation was explained to Tausi’s mother. She was overjoyed hearing the expense were covered. Even though she lives in poverty, Tausi’s mother had begged and borrowed 1,000 Kenyan shillings in an attempt to pay the bill. Through the dedication of UnFinished International supporters, Tausi was able to return to school.

We left the hospital to venture far out into the village. The grandmother of another one of our children, Anne, had been in the hospital for three weeks due to high blood pressure and high blood sugar. Upon our arrival, we found the grandmother at home with the four children she raises along with Anne. While she was in the hospital, for three weeks, Anne’s oldest sister of nine years old was left to care for her younger siblings and cousins.

Anne’s grandmother told us of her appreciation, gratitude, and joy at Anne’s improvement in the last two years in our programs. She relayed stories of amazement from friends and family at Anne’s growth physically, emotionally, and spiritually. We spent time talking with her and encouraging her to carry on with the lives she provides for herself and her grandchildren. We left her with food supplies and the few shillings we had in our pockets.

We ended our day at Daisy Special School. This is an integrated school founded by missionaries from Finland. They visited Kakamega decades earlier and started the school in honor of their daughter with special needs. Over time, the school became a county school administrated by the government.

UnFinished International has 12 children at Daisy. Our visit was most eventful, spending time with our kids, sharing snack time, and experiencing our girls sing in their group. The majority of our children are orphans. Not only have they spent life being shunned by society, but they also lack the necessary attention and love that comes from being part of a family. Anytime we can take a few minutes from our always packed schedule to love on them is a blessing.

The Starting Block

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I love airports. I know that is a break from the normal thought pattern. There are so many reasons not to love airports. The lines, the TSA, the lines, people, the lines. One could find many reasons to call airports the Mos Eisley of Earth. But once you look past all the horrible things that are processes within the airport, there is something beautiful – life.

Airports are full of people going and coming. Some are heading out on grand adventures to see new places and experience new things. Others are coming into welcoming arms of loved ones and friends. Airports are hubs of life and exploration that I find fascinating and full of hope. I love to walk through the terminal and see the looks of excitement on the faces of those ready to journey to someplace new.

Today my family and I entered the doors of the all too familiar George Bush Intercontinental Airport (IAH). While not as quaint and warm as its smaller counterpart, Hobby Regional (now international(ish)) Airport, it has a character all of its own. The terminals that comprise the airport are cultural destinations in their own right. Houston, being a city of incredibly diverse culture, fills the halls of IAH with people and atmospheres of worldly callings.

Our regular transportation out of Houston is Emirates Airlines. I’ve flown scores of airlines, and none come close to the class and quality of Emirates. However, this trip sends us to a new location, Doha, Qatar, and Qatar Airlines is our conveyance across the pond. While the service offered by Qatar Airlines is nothing to sneeze at, I find myself missing my typical ride out of town. To steal a line from Prince via Sinead O’Connor, nothing compares 2 u, Emirates.

The purpose of our current escapade revolves around our nonprofit organization, UnFinished International. Through the incredible actions of our dedicated supporters, we use the resources they supply to restore hope to children with special needs and disabilities in impoverished areas. This trip leads us to Western Kenya to follow up on operations with our independent organization there, UnFinished International Kenya.

UnFinished International, through UnFinished International Kenya, currently supports fourteen children and their families. Our sustainability programs there provide educational opportunities for our kids, developmental opportunities for their families, awareness programs for communities, instructional classes for educators, and legislative advocacy through local officials and village chiefs.

This year, we have incredible opportunities to attend to and advise. Eight of our kids are scheduled for life-changing surgeries in August. These operations are merely part of new lives our kids and their families never even knew to dream of just a few short years ago. The programs supported by UnFinished partners are literally miracles delivered to indeed the least of these.

Airports. The starting destinations for life-changing adventures. I am grateful to the many people, churches, and organizations that send us to Kenya on this day to love on these kids that were orphans before UnFinished came into their lives. I look forward to sharing the adventure with you.

Much more to come….

 

Unknown Parts

20-anthony-bourdain-grub-diet.w1200.h630The news of Anthony Bourdain’s death came to me as I was driving. My wife’s cellphone notified her of a news alert. She gasped in shock as she read the screen and said, “Anthony Bourdain is dead.” I sat there in silent shock. The news did not yet reveal the circumstances of his death, but I suspected what would come next. Suicide.

I knew that would be the report. I did not personally know Bourdain, but I knew his type. A few years ago, my life fell apart. I lost everything that was anything to me, and I did not know how I was going to make it even minute by minute. I was a mess. I was going through counseling at church, but that was only helping me hold onto my faith, not get through the grueling hours of day-to-day life. Don’t get me wrong, I needed that spiritual reinforcement, but it was not enough. A then friend (that’s another story) was a somewhat recovering drug and alcohol addict. He would attend A.A. and N.A. meetings and seemed to get some internal peace through them.

Time went by, and I learned they had these so-called, “open meetings.” These were meetings that were open to the public to attend. Most outsiders that joined these hour-long sessions were students and medical types – nurses, psychiatrists, and the like. One day, he invited me along, and I went.  What I found there changed my life forever.

I discovered people who were just like me. They were broken, lost, confused, and looking for a way to function, day to day, in life and find their way. Much like Edward Norton’s character in “Fight Club,” I found myself in these meetings. Not only did I find myself, but I also found my relationship with God and people. My church meetings help me to maintain my belief in God, these meetings help me to develop my relationship with Him through my storm. More than that, I learned that these people, this group of outcasts people belittle and condemn were some of the most loving, accepting and giving people I’ve ever met.

This company of anonymous train wrecks became my lifeline. They taught me how to build my life back by giving it away. I learned from them that getting out of my own life and helping others is the only way to heal my wounds. The work I do now with UnFinished International was developed largely within the walls of that little building on Brown Street. I was not an addict or user. I did not suffer from an “ism,” but I was accepted nonetheless because I was broken in other ways, just like they were.

As my life progressed and I began to heal, God started opening not only doors for me, but the world. I met my now wife, and we commenced years of international travel. This is why Anthony Bourdain was somewhat of a mini-hero to me. The guy came from nothing and became an international traveler and raconteur after my own heart. That is not to say I place my rubber stamp on all his beliefs and ideas. I do not, nor do I your’s. However, you don’t have to believe what I believe or think like I think for me to respect you. Anthony Bourdain experienced people and places with love and a passion for understanding them. He, at least professionally, was a man after my own heart.

When I heard the news I knew was inevitable, I was heartbroken. That Bourdain took his own life harkened back to my days in those walls with men and women I came to care about who had their lives ravaged by drugs, alcohol, depression, anxiety, and all the other things this world throws at you. My heart went out to a man who lived a life I love to live, and, in the end, it was not enough to save him. He left behind an 11-year-old daughter and many friends who loved him dearly.

Once the news hit, social media did not disappoint in its ability to disappoint. What shocked me the most, and I still do not know why I was shocked, were the comments from people who called themselves, Christians. Some of the most horrible remarks about Bourdain’s death came from the posts and comments of fellow Christians. “One less junkie in the world,” “Another liberal blowhard out of the way,” “This guy was a piece of trash,” “Can’t believe people are upset he died,” “He took the coward’s way out.” These are comments from people, in the same posts, that talked about being a Christian.

I feel there are far too many of us out there that don’t take time to understand what people go through. People just don’t get the, “there but the grace of God go I,” mentality. Mental illness is a real disease. More than that it is a tool and an attack from our enemy. People want to throw it out there as a gun control tagline or use it to place others in some kind of caste system. This is not how Jesus would handle the broken. Bourdain was an atheist himself, and that too breaks my heart. We as Christians are too often too content to let others suffer and die in their sickness. When I went through my dark place, plenty of Christians came to my aide, but so did a lot of atheists and agnostics.

I am not a proponent of the current level of celebrity worship in our society – even church celebrity worship. But I admired Anthony Bourdain’s desire to make the world a better place by sitting across the table from another person and discussing differences over a meal. As he put it best himself, “You learn a lot about someone when you share a meal together.” So many Christian scream about “making America great again,” when they don’t even know their next-door neighbor’s name. It’s time to care about people again. It’s time to stop judging and name calling and living in your bubble. Jesus went into Samaria and ate with tax collectors. Country Club Christianity is failing. Bourdain may have hated religion and been resolved to die without it, but your neighbor might not.

Anthony Bourdain may not have represented many of my personal or religious convictions, but I am sad he is no longer bringing the world into my life. I suppose I will now resolve to stop living vicariously through him and just get out there and do it myself. Perhaps I can save a few people along the way. Perhaps you can too.

“There are people here who need help…”

Missions-HeaderA few weeks ago, a friend on Facebook who posts a lot of SJW statuses and memes posted one that hit close home for me. The photo had what appeared to be children in Africa on the top, and what was supposed to be a homeless person in America on the bottom. The meme called out Christians, asking the age-old question, “Why do you have to go to the other side of the earth to help people when there are people who need help right here in America?”

It’s not a new question. In fact, I even hear it asked by fellow Christians all the time. I tend to answer this question differently when discussing it between Christians and non-Christians. In the case of UnFinished International, the answer is somewhat easy to provide as we help both. We support kids in Kenya that need help, and we have programs for kids and parents right here in our backyard.

It’s often a moot point to enter into a discussion with many people on the topic, however. Most people who have asked me about it did not support anyone anywhere and were only trying to incite an argument or offend me in bringing this up. However, as Christians, we do need to understand the basic principles of working and supporting in international missions. Particularly in today’s environment as the world becomes more and more nationalistic. Why should we as Christians support organizations and church projects and programs that send money to help those outside our own country?

Most Christian organizations will point to Acts 1:8 when defending their mission work. He said to them, “but you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you shall be My witnesses both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth.” The, He, being Jesus, we really don’t need any other reason as Christians to be “witness” to the end of the earth. However, the Bible actually addresses the subject long before Jesus gave this mandate. In fact, Jesus Himself discusses two instances of this occurring.

In Luke 4, Jesus stands before a synagogue and reads from the book of the prophet Isaiah. Once He finishes, he says to the congregation, “I say to you in truth, there were many widows in Israel in the days of Elijah, when the sky was shut up for three years and six months, when a great famine came over all the land; and yet Elijah was sent to none of them, but only to Zarephath, in the land of Sidon, to a woman who was a widow. And there were many lepers in Israel in the time of Elisha the prophet; and none of them was cleansed, but only Naaman the Syrian.”

Clearly, this passage tells us that there were many widows within the borders of Israel. However, God did not send the great prophet Elijah to any of them. God sent Elijah to minister to a widow outside of Israel. Likewise, we are told there were many lepers within the borders of Israel during the prophetic times of Elisha. But God sent Elisha to cleans not an Israelite, but a Syrian. During the times of two different prophets, there were people within each prophet’s country that needed both provision and healing. However, God did not send neither Elijah nor Elisha to any of them. God sent both prophets to do his work internationally.

Why does God send us to care for people in other countries when there are people who need help right here in our own country? There are many answers to this question. However, for this post, I will only point out one. God’s love is unconditional. God’s love, mercy, and grace are not based on where you are born. God has no obligation to provide for only those who live in America, or Israel, or any other place for that matter. God’s love, mercy, and grace are available to all, especially children with special needs or disabilities in the darkest of places.

Now, that is not to say those in our own country are not able to receive provision and healing from God. What it does say, however, is they are not the only ones who should receive it. When God called Elijah and Elisha to go outside the boundaries of Israel to do His work, they did not argue with Him. God called them, and they answered. They understood it does not matter who you are, or where you live. They understood that God so loved…. the world.

We as Christians are called to help the least of these. We are called to pick up our crosses and follow Jesus. Many times, that will lead us to places we had not anticipated. We are called to be a light in the darkest of places. While there are indeed plenty of dark places here in the United States, God is not a God exclusively of America. For instance, in 1 Corinthians 12 Paul teaches that the local and international body of Christians is made up of many members. So, what we must understand is that we are missing out on the blessing and fruit of God’s work when we are not pouring into international missions. As Shannon L. Alder  put it, “One of the most important things you can do on this earth is to let people know they are not alone.”